This is your eighth part of "9 Simple Rules For Dating Russian Women".
Rule #7 was to seek to understand first, then to be understood.
Avoid hidden traps of Russian courting etiquette - learn beforehand what is acceptable and what is not. Don't let this perfect relationship to be ruined because of cultural misunderstandings!
Now that you have realized that things are NOT the same in relationships with Russian women and made a note for yourself to read related information on the subject, it is time for the Rule #8...
Rule #8. Be honest
Some men feel a beautiful woman will not love him the way he is. They might have faced rejection from local women in the past, and feel insecure. Because of that some men try to be somebody different than they really are in correspondence with women they meet online.
It is so easy to pose as someone else when talk to people over the Internet... you can be whoever you want!
That's tempting.
The problem is that the woman will have to live with the real man, not that imaginary person. If she realizes that she was lied to, it will destroy her affection. If there is no love and affection, but bitterness and resentment instead, the marriage will hardly survive.
If your goal is not just writing letters and enjoying talking to beautiful women, but you want a woman like this to be your wife, then you must be absolutely honest to her.
Sometimes it may not be easy, but she will appreciate your honesty much more than a smooth talk.
Saying this, it does not mean you must give her a detailed answer on every inconvenient question.
If you would prefer not to answer some question, simply answer it very short and vague.
For example, she asks you what was the reason for your divorce. It might be that your former wife was unfaithful to you, or you to her; in both cases the true answer would make you feel uncomfortable - and could also potentially negatively influence your relationship.
What to do in this case?
Ignoring her question wouldn't be smart.
Better answer it but in uncertain terms.
For example:
"I don't want to explain the reasons for my divorce in details; let's just say something happened that my former wife and me could not live together any longer. I moved out, and in a few months we were officially divorced. We don't see each other anymore [we managed to maintain a normal relationship, and I see my children often]."
You see?
You have answered her question but you did not degrade yourself or your former wife.
Moreover, your girlfriend will prefer this type of answer to long explanations of the whole bunch of problems in your former marriage. Showing respect to your former partner you position yourself as a trustworthy and honorable person - and vice versa, if you complain about your ex, you lose in the eyes of your new passion.
So be honest - but be smart, too.
Sometimes it may be the best to be straightforward: for example, she asks why did you decide to look for a wife in Russia, and your interest in exploring your options with Russian women was the result of a scam attempt.
(This is quite typical by the way! - Men get in contact with a scam artist pretending to be a Russian woman, then discover the truth; but by that time they have learned so much about Russian women that they become attracted to the idea of finding a partner in Eastern Europe.)
In this case, even though you might feel embarrassed, the best is to tell it as it is: that you have not been looking for a Russian wife but received a letter from a "Russian woman", and this is why you started to look for information about Russia. You have later discovered your correspondent was a non-existing person and a scam, but you became interested in the idea, and this is how you found her profile.
You might even add that it is quite embarrassing for you to tell her that.
She will appreciate your honesty.
As a guidance, think what kind of reaction would you have if you asked the same question from her, and received an answer like yours.
If you feel your answer might be too harsh, soften it admitting your feelings about that - but be honest, nevertheless.
Any person deserves love and is loved by somebody the way he is - his parents, siblings, kids or friends.
A beautiful woman can love you for you, too.
Let her do it!
Rule #9 Is On Its Way Tomorrow!
I hope you enjoy your subscription.
And don't forget...
The final, ninth rule of "9 Simple Rules For Dating Russian Women" is coming tomorrow!
Sincerely,
Elena Petrova
