Marrying a Millionaire

That headline seems ridiculous, right? I mean, what is dating if not extremely, completely, horrendously, desperately personal? How can you go about searching for the one person that makes your heart feel whole without getting at least a little bit personal?

It seems weird, but when it comes to looking for love online, you need to remember that it's not about you -- at least not for awhile. Most of us who've dipped even a toe into the tepid waters of online dating have felt at certain times that maybe we're just not made for computer-based romance. We're not photogenic enough or we just can't write; our icebreakers keep getting rejected and our winks are never returned.

If you happen to be one of the thousands who isn't having success on the dating sites, you should definitely consider tweaking your profile and having a friend take some pictures that show off your good side. But once you've done that, you need to keep in mind that your digital dry spell is probably temporary. Anyone who's tried out one of the many dating sites knows that luck tends to ebb and flow like the member pool. But most importantly, when someone flakes out on you or makes it clear that they don't share your feelings of attraction, you need to not take it personally.

The truth is, you can't possibly know why that girl isn't interested. Maybe you she hates dogs and you have a boxer. Maybe she's intimidated by your intellectual prowess and professional success. Or maybe she just met someone and wants to see where it goes. No matter what, it ultimately has very little to do with you. And while we're all tempted to decide that it's our massive forehead and clown-like ears, the more likely scenario is that she had something else going on ... or she just wasn't your type anyway.

So I've got this friend. Well, OK, it's technically my girl's friend, but we still kick it. She is now in her fourth "super serious" relationship of the year. My lady keeps reporting to me that Ms. Decisive is sure this one is definitely "The One." Amazingly, three to four months later, she always seems to discover that she is bored, er, I mean, has irreconcilable differences with the latest sucker.

If you can believe it, Mr. Right the Fourth is about to move in with her. As if she needs a reason to break up with him, leave it to some errant pee on the toilet, a spit cup from a coffee mug or a few stinky farts to seal the deal. The over/under is 2 months, and I'm taking the under.

Let me tell you something. We can learn a lot more about how this is going to end from her history than we can from what comes out of her mouth. The point is, when it comes to relationships, don't expect the future to be any different than the past. If he says he's going to cut back on drinking, it probably means he's going to try a tad harder to hide it from you. If she says she's going to spend less on shoes, she's just going to cut the paper trail and pay with cash -- I wouldn't stake out Payless or another discount store to find her. If you meet a guy or gal who is in a relationship, and you two hook up, thinking that you're now "the one" is kind of like thinking this might be a cool summer in Arizona: You're wrong, and you're going to suffer for it.

You get the idea. Tragic as it may seem, we are all very unlikely to change for love or lust. Unless you guys started dating at age 5, you're probably not going to have as much pull on your partner as you'd like. So decide if you're willing to live with their flaws, or get out while you can, with your belief in love still intact.

To keep a girl interested in You its key that you follow these core principles.  These are the big three that I often see that nuke potential relationships.

1. Don’t be too mushy

You should always use romantic gestures as a supplement to the relationship.  You also shouldn’t say many mushy things too often or they lose their power.

Show you have a heart — but make it a rare occurance.  Keep your inner little girl in check. Women want you to act like a man, even if they sometimes say otherwise.   Keep her interested in you by using things like flowers and expensive dates very sparingly.  It will help seperate you from the competition.

2. Have an enriched life

Make sure you find ways to stay busy and cultivate your own interests. Do things
with your friends without your girlfriend / girl your dating.  It’s a big mistake to make the girl you’re seeing the only person in your world and neglect your friends.

If you stick with your current hobbies after getting a girlfriend and continue your personal development it will help keep her more interested in you and you will become more attractive.

It’s a great way to spend some time apart as well.  It’s key that you’re not together 24/7 or you will get sick of each other pretty quickly.  You can’t miss what is always there.

3. Always end interactions first

Always end conversations “too soon” and on a positive tone.  This will leave her thinking about you long after the conversation has ended because of how much fun she had with you.  If you let a conversation drag on too long in early stages it can kill attraction.

Its ok to let a conversation end when its going well.  A lot of guys will try to keep a conversation rolling if it’s going well.  End the conversation and either get a number, create the next date, or simply end it pleasantly.

For example, if you’re talking to a woman you just met at a bookstore for about five minutes while having an awesome conversation, that is when you should end it.

Say, “Hey, It was great meeting you but I have to get going. What’s your number?” Same principles apply for phone conversations.

Avoid becoming overly infatuated, you need to mke sure you are still percieved as a challenge. Don’t become a pussy.

It’s a good practice to often conciously listen to the words you’re saying and evaluate whether or not they sound like pussy-ish. Once you’ve shown a woman that you’re a wimp, it’s hard to get yourself back into the “real man” category.

-Gary

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