The internet is prepared with such walking wounded. Dating sites abound and literally thousands of people from all over the world are looking for love. Naturally, there are success stories with happy endings. But the vast majority are frustrated individuals. Join these sites for a while, , and you will see the same faces come round again and again. They are not ugly or evil or dangerous people. They are ordinary people like us, and yet somehow love is just eluding them.
At this present we have a different agenda. We will only stay in a relationship, or even enter into one, if it feels better than not doing so.
That’s a big plan, but the biggest problem is its the unacknowledged. Society, from our home to the neighbourhood, tends towards the old values and we still measure ourselves by them. We still consider ourselves to have failed if we break up a relationship, or worse, if we are the one who is jilted. This, in spite of the fact that we don’t bat an eyelid if our friends change career, move house or emigrate no matter how many times they do it. But change partners? There’s something wrong with you!
The fact remains, though, that broken relationships lead to broken hearts, and broken hearts hurt. Pain leads to fear, and fear leads to either a total giving up, or an attempt to half commit – with resulting unsatisfactory relationships all round.
There are two things. First, it’s about inner strength, love yourself. If you can feel good about the person you’re guaranteed to wake up with every day of your life, no one can hurt you, because that’s your inner strength.
Secondly, it’s about what you want. And then be honest about that. Do you really want to be with someone with young children? Do you mind if the lovely person you’ve just met has an almost zero libido? Or an insatiable one?
Also be flexible with yourself about this. Your wants and needs are going to change. They won’t be the same three months after the end of a relationship as they will be when three years have elapsed. So you have to learn to listen to your inner self, and not only hear it, but trust it and act on its advice!
What this amounts to actually reduces to an amazing and simple formula for finding and keeping true love. Want to know what it is?
With that way, you’ll have bundles of love to give away, you’ll be a joy to be around, (which makes you irresistibly attractive), and during those times when you find yourself alone, you’ll be delighted to have your company for a while.
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